Senin, 04 April 2011

...In the name of Allah the Merciful the Beneficent... My Respected Teacher Tuesday, 25 January 2011 New Blog Website Assalaamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, This blog has now moved to: http://www.myrespectedteacher.com Please visit the site and subscribe. JazaakAllahu Khayran, Wasalaam Posted by student at Tuesday, January 25, 2011 0 comments Monday, 3 January 2011 The Benefits of becoming a Murîd By Shaykh Ashrafali Thanawi (ra) There are several benefits in becoming a murîd: 1. At times a person errs in the different methods of reforming the heart that were mentioned previously. The shaykh shows the correct path in this regard. 2. At times the effect and benefit that one derives from a book is not as great as that which one would have obtained from the guidance of a shaykh. One gains the barakah of the shaykh. Furthermore, if the murîd displays any shortcoming in carrying out a good act or commits an evil act, he will be ashamed of this in front of the shaykh. 3. The person develops confidence and love for the shaykh. Based on this, he is inclined to follow and emulate the ways of the shaykh. 4. If the shaykh is strict in giving his advice or displays his anger, the person does not feel offended and endeavours to act upon his advice. There are many other benefits which are acquired by those whom Allah has favoured. These can only be known by acquiring and experiencing them. Qualities to be found in the Shaykh If a person wishes to become a murîd, he should first consider the following factors in the shaykh. If the latter does not possess these qualities, do not become his murîd. 1. The shaykh must know the masâ’il of Dîn. He should not be ignorant of the Sharî‘ah. 2. He must not possess any quality that is contrary to the Sharî‘ah. His ‘aqâ’id (beliefs) must be the same as those that have been mentioned in Part One of Bahishti Zewar. He should not possess any quality that is contrary to all the masâ’il and all those things connected to reformation of the heart that have been mentioned in this book. 3. He must not be carrying out this programme (of shaykh and murîd) as a means of sustenance. (That is, he must not be doing it for financial gain). 4. Become the murîd of a person who is regarded as a pious person by the majority of good people. 5. Become the murîd of a person who is spoken highly of by good people. 6. His programme of instruction must be such that one develops a love and inclination for Dîn. This can be gauged by looking at the condition of his murîds. Even if fifty-sixty percent of his murîds are good, consider such a shaykh to be effective. Do not have doubts on him by looking at the condition of a few murîds. You may have heard that the pious persons have a lot of effect. This (looking at the condition of his murîds) is the criterion whereby one gauges the effect and power of a shaykh. Do not gauge the effect and power of a shaykh through other means, such as something occurring exactly as he mentioned it to you, someone getting cured by his mere touch, that a ta‘wîdh worked according to the reason for which he gave it to you or that if he fixes his gaze on a person he becomes completely entranced and at a loss. Never be deluded by these effects and powers. 7. The shaykh must be such that he does not take into consideration the status of his murîds when giving them advice of the Dîn. (That is, he does not favour his murîds when it comes to reprimanding them in matters of the Dîn). He stops them from useless and foolish things. Once you have found such a shaykh, seek permission from your parents (if you are unmarried) or from your husband (if you are married), and become a murîd of such a shaykh solely for the purpose of putting your Dîn in order. If your parents or husband do not permit you to become a murîd, do not become one as it is not fard to become a murîd. However, it is fard to tread the path of the Dîn. You should therefore continue treading this path even if you are not a murîd of a shaykh. Rules connected to the shaykh and murîd 1. Be respectful to your shaykh. Remember the name of Allah in exactly the way shown to you by your shaykh. Have the following belief with regard to your shaykh: “The spiritual benefits that I can gain from this shaykh cannot be gained from any other shaykh.” 2. If the murîd’s heart has not been reformed properly as yet and the shaykh passes away, he must become a murîd of another shaykh in whom the above-mentioned qualities are found. 3. When you come across any wazîfah in any book or read about the frugal life of someone, do not act upon it on your own accord. Ask your shaykh about it first. If any good or evil thought enters your heart or you decide to do something, first consult your shaykh. 4.Women should not remove their purdah in the presence of their shaykh. At the time of becoming a murîd, do not shake his hands. It is permissible to take the oath of allegiance (bay’ah) by holding one end of a handkerchief or piece of cloth while he holds the other end. A verbal bay’ah is also sufficient. 5. If you mistakenly become a murîd of a person who acts contrary to the Sharî‘ah, or if he was good in the beginning and later changed, then sever your contact with him and become a murîd of some other pious person. However, if your shaykh commits a sin which could be overlooked, then think to yourself that he is also human and that he is not an angel. He has made a mistake which could be forgiven by his making taubah. Do not allow your conviction in him to dwindle over trivial matters. However, if the shaykh persists on such acts, sever your contact with him. 6. It is a sin to believe that your shaykh has full knowledge of everything you do. 7. Never read books which have stories of the dervishes which appear to be contrary to the Sharî‘ah. Similarly, you should not read poems that are contrary to the Sharî‘ah. 8. Some dervishes say that the path of the Sharî‘ah is different from the path of the dervishes. Such dervishes are astray. It is fard to consider them to be liars. 9. If the shaykh asks you to do anything that is contrary to the Sharî‘ah, it is not permissible to act upon it. If he insists on you to carry it out, sever your contact with him. 10. If, due to the barakah of taking the name of Allah, you experience a good state in your heart, you have a good dream or upon waking up you hear a voice or see some light, then do not mention this to anyone other than your shaykh nor inform anyone of the wazîfahs that you read or the ‘ibâdah that you make, because by doing so, this good fortune will go away. 11. If your shaykh asks you to recite a particular wazîfah or engage in a particular form of dhikr and after some time you still do not experience any delight in this, do not be disheartened, nor should you lose your confidence in your shaykh. Instead, think to yourself that the greatest effect is that your heart is making an intention of remembering Allah and that you are being given the opportunity to do good. Never think that you should be blessed with the opportunity of pious persons appearing in your dreams, that you should begin to have knowledge of things that are still going to occur, that you should be able to cry profusely or that you should become so engrossed in your ‘ibâdah that you are unaware of other things. These things occur at times and at times they do not. If they do, express your gratitude to Allah. If they do not occur, decrease after having occurred frequently or cease to occur altogether, then do not be saddened. However, if, Allah forbid, you display any shortcoming in following the Sharî‘ah or commit any sin, then this is definitely something to be distressed about. You should immediately make an effort to put your condition in order, inform your shaykh about it and act upon his advice. 12. Do not be disrespectful of other shaykhs or other sûfi orders. Nor should you address the murîds of other shaykhs or other sûfi orders by telling them that your shaykh is greater than his or that your sûfi order is greater than his. By engaging in such unnecessary and foolish conversations the heart begins to darken. 13. If your shaykh pays more attention to a fellow murîd, or if a fellow murîd gains more benefit from his wazîfahs and dhikrs, do not be jealous of him. Guidelines on how a Murîd and every other Muslim should spend his night and day 1. Acquire knowledge of the Dîn according to your needs. You could acquire this knowledge either by reading a book or by asking the ‘ulamâ. 2. Abstain from all sins. 3. If you commit any sin, repent immediately. 4. Do not hold back in fulfilling anyone’s right. Do not cause anyone physical or verbal harm. Do not speak ill of anyone. 5. Do not have any love for wealth nor any desire for name and fame. Do not concern yourself with extravagant food and clothing. 6. If someone rebukes you for your mistake or error, do not try to justify your action. Admit your fault and repent. 7. Do not embark on a journey without any dire necessity. This is because many unconscious and unintended acts are committed while on a journey. Many good deeds are missed out, there is a shortcoming in the different forms of dhikr (remembrance of Allah), and you are unable to accomplish your tasks on time. 8. Do not laugh excessively nor talk excessively. You should take special precaution in not talking with ghayr mahrams (those with whom the observance of purdah is incumbent) in an informal way. 9. Do not go about repeating or mentioning an argument that may have taken place between two persons. 10. Always be mindful of the rules of the Sharî‘ah in everything that you do. 11. Do not display laziness in executing any act of ‘ibâdah. 12. Try and spend most of your time in seclusion. 13. If you have to meet and converse with others, meet them with humility and do not display your greatness. 14. Associate very little with rulers and those who hold high positions. 15. Stay very far from irreligious people. 16. Do not search for the faults of others. Do not have evil thoughts about anyone. Instead, look at your own faults and try to put them in order. 17. You should be very particular in offering your salât in the proper manner, at the proper time and with great concentration. 18. Always occupy yourself in the remembrance of Allah either with your heart or tongue. Do not be neglectful in this regard at any time. 19. If you experience any satisfaction in taking the name of Allah and your heart feels happy over this, then express your gratitude to Allah. 20. Speak in a nice, humble way. 21. Set aside specific times for all your different tasks and abide strictly to these times. 22. Consider whatever regret, sorrow or loss you may experience to be from Allah. Do not be despondent. Instead, think that you will be rewarded for this. 23. Do not think about worldly matters, calculations, profits and losses, etc. all the time. Instead, think about Allah. 24. As far as possible, try to help and benefit others irrespective of whether it be in worldly affairs or Dînî matters. 25. Do not eat and drink too little to the extent that you become weak and fall ill. Nor should you eat and drink too much to the extent that you feel lazy in carrying out the different acts of ‘ibâdah. 26. Do not have any desire or greed for anything from anyone except Allah. Do not allow your mind to wander towards any place thinking that you will be able to gain certain benefit or profit from there. 27. Be restless in your quest for Allah. 28. Be grateful for the favours that are bestowed upon you irrespective of whether they are plenty or few. Do not be depressed with poverty and destitution. 29. Overlook the faults and mistakes of those who are under your control. 30. If you learn of any fault of someone, conceal it. However, if the person plans to cause harm to someone else and you learn of it, then warn the other person beforehand. 31. Be in the service of guests, travellers, strangers, ‘ulamâ, and the pious servants of Allah. 32. Choose the company of the pious. 33. Fear Allah all the time. 34. Remember death. 35. Set aside a certain time daily wherein you should think about all your actions for that day. When you remember any good action, express gratitude. When you remember any evil action, repent. 36. Don’t ever speak a lie. 37. Don’t ever attend gatherings that are contrary to the Sharî‘ah. 38. Live with bashfulness, modesty and forbearance. 39. Do not be conceited by thinking to yourself that “I have such-and-such qualities in me.” 40. Continue making du‘â to Allah to keep you steadfast on the straight path. Posted by student at Monday, January 03, 2011 0 comments Saturday, 25 December 2010 Islamic Spiritual Retreat 2010 Posted by student at Saturday, December 25, 2010 0 comments Sunday, 29 August 2010 Last 10 Days of Ramadan Posted by student at Sunday, August 29, 2010 0 comments Wednesday, 11 August 2010 Cleansing and Adorning Oneself in the Month of Ramadan A brief insight to the islahi majlis of My Respected Teacher, Shaykh Imran ibn Adam Sunday 8th August 2010 It is a principle of all things in this world that nothing can become perfect until it is cleared of all defective aspects. For example, no plant will grow perfectly until it's place of growth is cleared of all harmful features. Likewise, paint can not be applied to a car until the rust is cleared off. Like this, we can apply this principle to all areas. In the same way, we must clear our lives of all defective actions and carry out righteous acts which will then build us up to becoming good people. So, on one hand we have the "munakaraat" i.e. those things that are forbidden, and on the other hand we have the "ma'muraat" i.e. those things that we have been commanded to do. The former are the defective aspects that we must avoid, and the latter are the righteous acts that we must adopt. We must do takhliya (cleansing) of the former and do tahliya (adorning) by means of the latter. The blessed month of Ramadan contains practice for us for this process. As soon as the moon is sighted for the beginning of Ramadan, twenty cycles (raka'at) of salah is enjoined upon us in which a servant performs forty prostrations (sujud) for his Lord by which he draws near to Allah Most High, as Allah mentions in the Noble Qur'an: "...prostrate and draw closer" (Al-Alaq 19). Furthermore, it has been narrated from Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, "The closest a servant is to his Lord is when he is prostrating (i.e. doing sajda)..." (Muslim). In addition, we are encouraged do carry out other good acts in this month, like recitation of the Qur'an, spending in charity etc. So all of this is adornment (tahliya) of oneself. Thereafter, during the day we are commanded to keep fast and staying away from food and drink is a way of curbing the desires in a person. This is practice to help a person to stay away from the forbidden things because if he can stay away from those things that are usually permissible for him (i.e. food and drink) then of course he should be able to refrain from the forbidden things- and this is the real objective. It is reported from Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) that Allah's Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: "Whoever does not leave speaking falsehood and acting thereupon, Allah has no need (i.e. does not accept) of him leaving his food and drink" (Bukhari). This shows clearly that until one does not cleanse himself of evil and vice, righteous acts will not yield the best results. Hakim al-Umma Mawlana Ashraf Ali Thanawi (Allah have mercy on him) has mentioned that it becomes easier to leave sin during the month of Ramadan. Man has two things urging him to sin; one is Satan and the other is man's nafs (desires). One provocation is locked away: Satan [as mentioned in various ahadith]. What's more, even the second provocation (nafs) is weakened by means of fasting. In conclusion, the aim of Ramadan is to create taqwa by means of which one will be able to refrain from sin and as a result any virtuous acts one carries out will yield abundant good. Posted by student at Wednesday, August 11, 2010 0 comments Sunday, 8 August 2010 Ramadhan late night gatherings Posted by student at Sunday, August 08, 2010 0 comments Older Posts Home Subscribe to: Posts (Atom) Respected Teacher This site is to share the teachings of my respected teacher, Shaykh Muhammad Imran. Without doubt, the information that is published on this site will not be a word-to-word account of his talks, but Allah willing, it will give the viewers a good insight and some nourishment for the soul. Shaykh Muhammad Imran completed Alimiyyah course at Darul Uloom al Arabiyyah al Islamiyyah, Bury, UK. After graduating in 1990 he joined his respected father and became Senior Imam of the Jami' Masjid, Leicester, UK and currently he is also a Principal and Ustaadh of Hadeeth at Jameah Uloomul Qur'an, Leicester. Contents * ▼ 11 (2) o ▼ Jan (2) + New Blog Website + The Benefits of becoming a Murîd * ► 10 (12) o ► Dec (1) + Islamic Spiritual Retreat 2010 o ► Aug (3) + Last 10 Days of Ramadan + Cleansing and Adorning Oneself in the Month of Ram... + Ramadhan late night gatherings o ► Jul (1) + Event in Dewsbury o ► Jun (2) + Completion of Saheeh al Bukhari for sisters - Leic... + Completion of Saheeh al Bukhari - Leicester o ► Apr (1) + Spiritual Halaqah - April 2010 o ► Mar (1) + Trust in Allah and Adopting the Means o ► Feb (2) + spiritual Halaqah - Feb 2010 + Public Enemy No1 o ► Jan (1) + Spiritual Halaqah * ► 09 (34) o ► Dec (3) + Turn Our Holidays into Holy-Days + Seerah Majlis - Leicester + Spiritual Retreat 2009 o ► Nov (2) + Allah's Mercy Seeks an Excuse + Whispers of Shaytan o ► Oct (2) + Spiritual Halaqah + Hajj Seminar o ► Sep (6) + Programmes After Ramadhan + Hold on to Four Things... + Mysteries of the Five Pillars of Islam + Special Late Night Gathering + Value Imaan + Peace In Your Life o ► Aug (6) + Cure for the Darkened Hearts + Steps to Success + Blank Cheques + SINS AND ITS EFFECTS + Importance of Writing Deeni Knowledge + Spirituality in Islam o ► Jul (4) + Spirituality in Islam + Principles of trading + Protection from life-threatening illnesses + Completion of Saheeh al-Bukhari - 2009 o ► Jun (1) + Youth Programme o ► May (4) + Supplication for Anxiety and Grief When my respec... + Spirometry Dhikr + What is That? + Dua for life threatening illnesses o ► Apr (1) + Remembering the Beloved sallallahu alayhi wa salla... o ► Mar (3) + Event o ► Feb (1) + YOU DO THE MATHS o ► Jan (1) + Guarding The Tongue! Lesson by Shaykh Imran bin A... * ► 08 (22) o ► Nov (4) + Appreciate! + Importance of Halal, by Shaykh Imran bin Adam o ► Aug (1) o ► Jun (3) o ► May (1) o ► Apr (4) o ► Mar (6) o ► Feb (2) o ► Jan (1) * ► 07 (55) o ► Dec (1) o ► Nov (1) o ► Oct (1) o ► Sep (6) o ► Aug (7) o ► Jun (3) o ► May (4) o ► Apr (6) o ► Mar (11) o ► Feb (6) o ► Jan (9) * ► 06 (17) o ► Dec (11) o ► Nov (6) Audio Section * Forgotten Roots * Loving the Prophet (saw) * Repentance * The key to Jannah Literature Section * Tasawwuf &Tazkiyah? Tasawwuf In Brief, by Shaykh Muhammad Imran Tasawwuf In Brief, by Shaykh Muhammad Imran A brief explanation of what Tasawwuf is all about. This book consists of information on how to purify the heart. Available at "The Islamic Establishment" Asfordby Street, Leicester........Or order it online now! Order NOW!!! * The Islamic Establishment LINKS * Al-atfaal * Jameah Uloomul Qur'an * Khanqah * Theislamicestablishment Followers May Allah Subhanahu Wata'alla Accept. ..........................................................

or all those Muslim men getting an unfairly bad rap...

Disclaimer: This is a fictional work! I'm not actually talking about my husband (as great as he is, masha'Allah).
.........................................
My husband is patient. When he does get upset, he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and seeks refuge in God from Satan before opening his eyes and smiling at me to show that all is forgiven. Tom across the street screams at his wife Dora until she cries.
My husband is romantic. When he’s late coming home from work, I know he’s not cheating on me with the secretary... he’s stopping by the halal Chinese restaurant to pick up the chicken dumplings he knows I love, with a bouquet of roses to apologize for not answering my phone call. Angela’s getting a divorce because Richard was caught making out with his partner at the office – twice.
My husband is honourable. When he’s out with his friends for the weekend, I know he’s not out at the pub flirting with the waitress... he’s at the mosque mentoring teenage boys and plays basketball with the guys. Lana hates that her boyfriend spends his weekend nights at the local seedy strip club, enjoying women who aren’t her.
My husband is supportive. When I got my new job, he helped me balance my schedule and helped pick up with the chores around the house. When I got my promotion, he took me out to dinner and we celebrated all night. When my paycheque exceeded his, he never asked me for a penny and would insist on paying for the milk I picked up on my way home. Julia confided that her husband resents her success, and demands that she pay half the rent.
My husband is chivalrous. Even when we had the worst argument in the history of our marriage, when he slept at his mom’s house for a week, he never laid an angry hand on me. Brad across the street hits his wife whenever they have a fight, and we can all see the bruises under the sleeves of her shirt.
My husband is an involved father. He takes the girls to karate every Wednesday and then buys them ice cream on the way back. He gives them piggy back rides and changes their baby brother’s diapers when I’m busy. Jack down the road yells at his kids to stay out of his way, while he spends his days on the couch with the TV and a bottle of whiskey.
My husband is chaste. I’m the only woman he looks at with that look of adoration and thorough appreciation. I love it when he undresses me with his eyes, because his eyes don’t look to any other feminine figure except mine. Cindy found her husband’s inbox full of pornography subscriptions.
My husband is honest. When he makes a mistake, he admits and tries to do better. When he is proven wrong, he humbly accepts it and seeks to rectify his error. George blames Brenda for anything that goes wrong, and refuses to take responsibility.
My husband is respectful. He treats me as a complete equal, an individual in my own right. He listens to what I have to say and never belittles my opinions. He empathizes with my feelings even if he doesn’t agree. He places me on a pedestal and never demeans my efforts at home with the kids or at work with my colleagues. Tom criticizes Susan about her education at a small-town college, about her part-time job, and about her size-14 figure.
My husband is playful. He’ll tickle me until I cry with laughter. He’ll play Twister with me until we fall on the floor in a heap of tangled limbs. He’ll dress up as a clown for the kids’ ‘Eid party, even though his boss is there. Michael the C.E.O. is rarely seen cracking a smile, even at his son’s baseball game.
My husband is generous and soft-hearted. He can never walk by a panhandler without dropping at least a dollar into the beggar’s hand. When the teenage prostitute sashays up to him, her eyes blank and staring, he gives her the business card for the women’s shelter and gives her ten dollars to buy herself a decent meal. The guy behind him pulls her over for a grope and an appointment at the motel down the street.
My husband is spiritual and religious. His big beard doesn’t conceal his ever-present gentle smile. His British-Arab accent doesn’t hide the wisdom of his words, or the humour of his jokes. The mark on his forehead is from when he goes out to pray in the woods, to commune with nature and communicate with God – not a sign of his terrorist tendencies. His heart encompasses the love of God, the love of the Prophet, the love of his parents, his wife, his children, his community, and humanity.
marry John Travolta. One day he would arrive on my North London doorstep, fall madly in love with me, and ask me to marry him. Then he would convert to Islam and become a devoted Muslim.” A few years later down the line, however, and John Travolta still hasn’t shown up for the great samosa-serving rishta (potential bridegroom) ritual!
For every girl whose guilty pleasure is chick lit, “Love in a Headscarf” is a guilt-free and completely halaal way to indulge. The book, however, is more than just a fluffy giggle-inducing tale; Shelina skilfully narrates her anecdotes while weaving in brief explanations of the tenets of Islam and components of Muslim cultures in a way that makes the book appealing and approachable to both Muslims and non-Muslims alike.
Shelina chronicles her quest for the One from beginning to end, from her first arranged meeting at the age of 19, to the experimental attempts at “Muslim speed dating,” and finally, even online matchmaking websites. Readers can both sympathize with and chuckle at her descriptions of the various characters she meets during her quest: disdainful Samir who hates books, perfect Jameel who left the choice of his future bride up to his mother (who of course has not approved of anyone yet), Habib who was still emotionally scarred by his parents’ divorce five years ago and terrified of making a commitment that might end the same way, breathlessly attractive yet disinterested Karim...
Considering all the above, yet yearning still for something more – for That Feeling – Shelina struggles to compromise between the well-meaning, earnest advice of Buxom Aunties, Serious Imams, and her own wise parents, and the romantic dreams that every young woman has of finding the One. Commendably, however, she doesn’t allow the marriage hunt to overwhelm her life. Concluding that Allah in His Wisdom has a reason for not delivering Prince Charming into her lap, she goes about the business of Life.
Worshipping Allah, studying, travelling, navigating the tangled paths of cultural identity, and, of course, dreaming of the One... Sheilina shares stories of what it’s like to be a young Muslim woman in the West, dealing with the aftermath of 9/11 and struggling against stereotypes from both within and without the Muslim community. Good Girls don’t climb mountains, she’s told when she sets out to scale Mount Kilimanjaro; but at the same time, her hijaab seems to turn off a lot of potential suitors. What’s up with that? She questions traditional conditions, believing in the values but not necessarily the ways in which a girl is supposed to maintain her reputation. After all, what’s wrong with a girl getting a sports car?
Shelina’s quest for halaal love ends up the way such things always do: determined by the Qadr (Destiny) of Allah, both Prince and Princess appear in the right place at the right time, destined to meet. With the blessing of faith and family, Shelina Zahra Janmohamed marries her Prince Charming... and so begins her Happily Ever After.
- A- AnonyMouse (UmmKhadijah) is a young Muslimah who has been writing Islamic articles for the last six years. Formerly a co-founder, staff member, and writer for MuslimMatters.org, she now writes for SISTERS magazine.
(Copyright Zainab bint Younus aka AnonyMouse al-Majnoonah)

Kissed By An Angel


Recorded by Al-Bayhaqi, ad-Diyaa', and others. Authenticated by Sheikh al-Albani (rahimuhullah).

Sunday, March 20, 2011

A Tribute to the Unsung Muslimah


She is the sheikh’s wife, who takes your questions to her husband to answer because you are too shy to ask him yourself. She is the one you blame for denying women direct access to the sources of knowledge; whom you accuse of being jealous and possessive, afraid that her husband will want to marry you. She is the one who lovingly presses that piece of paper of yours into her husband’s hands, who encourages him to take ten minutes, twenty minutes, an hour longer away from his time with her, to solve your problems.
She is an unsung Muslimah.
She is the immigrant sister from an Arab country, struggling to speak English yet gladly giving up her Saturday mornings to sit in the masjid and try to teach you the complex rules of Tajweed. She is the one you grumble about, whom you make a face at behind her back, because you think her correction of your recitation is harsh criticism. She is the one you accuse of making the Qur’an “dry” and “boring” and makes you lose interest in it. She is the one who labours hard every week, praying to Allah that He uses her as a means of you recognizing the deep beauty of the Qur’an and drawing closer to Him.
She is an unsung Muslimah.
She is the kindly Indian aunty who labours over her stove to cook up some of her delicious chicken curry, to be served with sunny basmati rice with lentils, for the iftaar at the Masjid. She is the one you complain smells of sweat all the time, who carries with her an air of masaalah that follows her more strongly than any of the perfumes you spray on before you leave home. She is the one you accuse of stinking up the masjid. She is the one whose hard work and lovingly concocted delicacy you pick at, saying that you can’t stand the greasy sauce. She is the one who spent her precious, dwindling stock of money on the ingredients for that dish, so that she could have the reward of feeding the fasting Muslim.
She is an unsung Muslimah.
She is that young teenage Muslimah who cheerfully rounds up your kids at the masjid and tries to entertain them while you pray Taraweeh or listen to the halaqah. She is the one you scold for making the kids too excited and causing them to make noise. She is the one you harshly reprimand for allowing your precious son to have his toy taken away, making him come running to you crying. She is the one patiently controlling her temper with the little ones, when all she really wants is to listen to the same imam you are falling asleep listening to.
She is an unsung Muslimah.
She is the one who wants to make Eid fun for your kids and decides to throw an Eid party at the Islamic centre. She is the one whom you criticize for the hall being too crowded, the food too little, the children too noisy. She is the one you scream at for not controlling the children on the games, while you demand that your ickle wee Aboodi be allowed to go first on the ride. She is the one whom you forget to give your event ticket too, and she is the one who silently pays out of her own pocket to cover the cost. She is the one whose time, money, and frayed nerves she is spending for the Sake of Allah.
She is an unsung Muslimah.
(Copyright Zainab bint Younus aka AnonyMouse)

Sunday, March 13, 2011

The Ties That Bind: Friendship Vs. Marriage

Originally written for SISTERS magazine.


One small island. Six young women. And a friendship that would last forever... Or so we thought.
Having met each other through Masjid events, and suddenly “clicking” together during the community’s first summer camp, the six of us Muslim teens developed a bond that seemed unbreakable. Although we ranged in age, came from diverse backgrounds, and had completely different personalities, we loved each other passionately. As we struggled through high school, personal issues and reconnecting to the Deen, we stood by and supported each other with love, laughter, and the constant reminder that our friendship was for the Sake of Allah. We were confident that we’d only grow closer, that nothing would break us apart.
And then we got married.
Like all young women, a significant portion of our discussions revolved around marriage – who, what, where, and how! We spent hours poring over articles, listening to lectures, and creating checklists for ourselves and our future spouses. We dreamed of wedding dresses and giggled nervously about wedding nights. Throughout it all, though, we promised that no matter where we went in the world, wherever life would take us, we’d always stay together.
Reality, however, turned out to be a bit more different than we imagined.
Over the course of a year, three of us got married, one moved overseas and had a baby, and the others found themselves overwhelmed with the demands of a new husband, old family, and university. No longer did we meet each other several times a week or spend time volunteering at Masjid events; even planned gatherings at each other’s homes often fell through. Physical distance inevitably led to emotional distance and miscommunication resulting in hurt feelings and a sense of loss.
This case of “MIA After Marriage” isn’t unique – in fact, it’s incredibly common. Many sisters report that once a friend or relative gets married, they seem to disappear for months on end. It can take up to a year (or more, if children soon follow) for a newlywed sister to get back in touch with her friends... and by that time, things might have changed so much that it’s impossible for the same closeness to return. The unmarried sisters might feel that their married friend is now living a completely different life and that they have nothing in common anymore; the newlywed sister wonders why her friends don’t understand that she’s just busier now and can’t make it to events and gatherings all the time. Slowly but surely, tight bonds of friendship loosen and sometimes even slip away.
While understandable, the situation is lamentable as well. Although no one says you should be neglecting your husband for your friends, you shouldn’t ignore your friends either. Sisterhood for the Sake of Allah is a precious thing that should never be lost or let go of, not even in the flush of new marriage. So how do sisters who love their husbands and their friends give time for both? Here are a few tips on how to maintain the valuable relationships of Islamic Sisterhood.
1. Purify your intention. Whether you’re the newlywed or the bachelorette, remember that the reason you’re reaching out to your ‘lost’ friend is for the Sake of Allah... not just to get an extra pair of hands to help out at the next bridal shower.
Mu’adh ibn Jabal (radhiAllahu anhu) reported: “I heard the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) say: ‘Allah Almighty said, “My Love is mandatory for those who love each other for My Sake, and those who sit with each other for My Sake, and those who visit each other for My Sake, and those who give to each other generously for My Sake.” (Malik in al-Muwatta’).
Abu Hurayrah (radhiAllahu anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “There are seven whom Allah will shade with His Shade on the day where there is no shade but His Shade: (one of them is) two men who love each other for the Sake of Allah, meeting and parting for that reason alone...” (Bukhari and Muslim)
2. Be considerate. Keep in mind that things are a bit different for the married sister. She has a whole new set of responsibilities that do take a while to get used to. Allow that she won’t be able to hang out on most days and times like you used to in the old days. But don’t let that stop you from giving her a call or paying her a visit!
Abu Hurayrah (radhiAllahu anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “A man visited a brother of his in another town and Allah appointed an angel to wait for him on his way. When he came to him, the angel said, ‘Where are you going?’ He said, ‘I am going to a brother of mine in this town.’ He said, ‘Do you have some property with him that you want to check on?’ He said, ‘No, it is only that I love him for the sake of Allah Almighty.’ He said, ‘I am a messenger of Allah to you to tell you that Allah loves you as you love this man for His Sake.’” (Muslim)
3. Be patient and make 70 excuses for your sister. If you’ve called, left messages on the answering machine, sent a slew of emails, and are now considering hiding in her bushes to make sure she’s still alive, take a deep breath and be patient. Insha’Allah your friend is fine; just give her a bit of space to settle into her new routine before expecting a response. Don’t think that she’s ignoring you or doesn’t notice – even through the haze of new marriage, she knows and appreciates that you care about her, which simply increases her love for you.
4. Remember that all relationships need work to maintain. Newlyweds, take note! Don’t take your friendships for granted, and don’t expect that after a year of you being MIA, that everything will be just as you left it. Make an effort to keep in touch with your sisters in Islam, and try to meet with them whenever possible at the Masjid, if nowhere else. Even if you don’t get to really ‘hang out,’ just attending a beneficial lecture or program can strengthen both your emaan and the bonds of Islamic Sisterhood.
5. Don’t hold a grudge. It can be too easy for emotional distance and the feeling of losing a friend to result in holding a grudge. Again, it’s important to note that the situation has changed and that things won’t be exactly the same as they were before. However, don’t allow that to make you feel badly about your sister in Islam or have hard feelings against her because you think that she’s throwing away your friendship.
The Messenger of Allah (sallallahau ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “The doors of Paradise are opened on Monday and Thursday, and every servant who does not associate anything with Allah be forgiven, except for the man who bears a grudge against his brother. It will be said, “Wait for these two until they reconcile, wait for these two until they reconcile, wait for these two until they reconcile.” (Muslim)
Thus, in the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), we find precious gems of advice on how to keep the love for the Sake of Allah strong and flourishing. Changes in life are inevitable, but just because life changes, doesn’t mean that friendship should! As long as sincerity and true love for the Sake of Allah are kept in mind, insha’Allah your relationships with your sisters in Islam will remain strong, pure, and lasting.
May Allah increase us all in our love for Him; and in our love for our sisters in Islam for His Sake; and make us amongst those who will be shaded on the Day of Judgement, when there will be no shade except the Shade of His Throne.

AnonyMouse (UmmKhadijah) is a young Canadian Muslimah who has found herself unexpectedly taking care of house, husband and baby. Readers might recognize her as the AnonyMouse from MuslimMatters.org, although slightly more grown up.

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Book Review: Love In A Headscarf

AlHamdulillaah I've recently gotten back to writing after a veeeeeeeeeeeeery long hiatus (about a year since I left my old haunt at MuslimMatters.org). So far it's only been a handful of articles, written for SISTERS magazine, but I figured I may as well throw them in here for another handful of views :)

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Love in a Headscarf: Muslim Woman Seeks The One,” by Shelina Zahra Janmohamed is a light-hearted, real-life take on the typical dilemma faced by young Muslim women in the West – searching for the right Muslim man, the right Muslim way.

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